When I became a mom,the moment I knew I was pregnant. I kissed good bye to the life I've ever known and took a leap of faith, blindfolded into the unknown.
Having James, awakened my soul into who I needed to become. I firmly believe that, its my responsibility to be at home, taking care of my family doing the motherly duties.. Not out getting shitfaced and living like the " normal " 18 year old carefree life ( even if its every weekend ). Just because i'm 18 doesn't excuse my responsibilities for my wishes of freedom. Don't get me wrong, every parent needs a break once in awhile, but is being a mom so hard that people need to leave their child while they live their life ? Being a mom is not a job, but it is alot of work. You are a mother 24/7 not,5 days a week and get weekends off
Tonight especially, James is waking up every hour and needing me to go lay down with him, its becoming frustrating, but i guess this situation is my fault. I did not crib train or anything. My son does not self soothe, he relies on me for that. Having him disrupt me from my homework during my " me " time, while he should be sound asleep. I love him to bitz, more then anyone could imagine.
I still breastfeed, which needs to end. I just don't no how or where to start. So much things in my life I want to change, but feel either powerless, out of control or I simply don't no where to start.
Take it one step at a time. Don't rush, don't pressure yourself. Slow and steady wins the race.
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